Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Are you my Friend?

Not having a car pretty well sucks!!!!!!!!

So as you all know I broke up with Terry.  I still feel really good about this decision and I know I did the right thing.

They say that you hurt the ones you love the most.  I guess the logic behind this is that if you are hurt by something someone says or does to you and you can forgive them then you both have a better bond/ friendship/ relationship.  Well I know that when it comes to family this is generally true.  I know with my mom it is because it seems that we are always saying and doing things that hurt to each other.  Usually because one or the other takes offense to something or we misconstrue the information from the way it was meant.  I still love my mom, and she still loves me and I know that I have majorly hurt my mom in the past.  Our relationship will probably never be close knit because of it.

What about friends though?  How do you know someone is really truly your friend?

I know that Stephanie from Jr high will always be my friend.  I know that Mindy and the McAffee girls from high school will always be my friends.  I know that Debbie from college will always be my friend.  We may not see each other, and talk super often but, we keep track of each other and after many years we can sit down and chat like no time has gone by.  There are many other people in my life that fall into this category.  I have lived in quite a few places and I have friends from all over.  I have friends that I found thanks to my daughter.  I have friends that I found thanks to neighbors and their friends.

Not having a car brings this up for me.  I have strangers offer to pick me up or help me get a ride to places.  I have neighbors I can bum a ride.  My co-workers have been amazing to give me rides to and from work.  My mom and dad of course and other family and friends.  The first weekend without a car was the worst.  I had already made plans to do stuff and I really had to scramble to "find" rides.  I am not saying by any means that you "must not be my friend" because you didn't give me a ride.  It made me look at the "friendship" though.  Especially because of the reaction I received, full of blame, and resentment.  I did post something on facebook about my frustration.  I didn't mention any names but they knew who I was talking about as they will now.  (This is my space to say what I want and if you don't want to read it then don't if you are offended then too bad.)  This reaction made me look at the whole of the friendship and I voiced my hurt and frustration in my response.  Now it has been over a week so I requested something of a response, the response was a load of crap!  I mean seriously you have to think things through.  Sounds like I am getting full blame and being held responsible for things beyond my control.  So I ask, Are you my Friend?  I thought friends forgive and forget.  I thought friends were there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.  I thought friends were there to lift you up when you are down.  Not run you over with a truck and then back over you again.  Yep!  I think I am figuring out who my friends are.  I know I have done my share of forgiving and moving past things that have hurt me in this friendship.

Well for now my post will be private and I will see what happens.  I am pretty sure my gut is right and I already know.
*ya um nope....I am over it! Been over a month, Good Riddance* (added 07/19/2011)


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